dont mind me, just gotta type some thoughts out.

"MountainCommand" (MountainCommand)
06/30/2014 at 00:11 • Filed to: life

since the internet is completely candid with reactions, i would be intrigued to hear any inputs on the following situation. it involves girls, and situations i never thought id be in. so here is some classy Honda for your time.

Its not much of a serious, life threatening situation, and ill be honest its probably mundane. But I just gotta type it out to get thing out of my mind. So here it goes. (Forewarning, i pretty much wrote a book here haha. Again, its a bit long, so dont say i didnt tell you. also sorry if there is grammatical stuffs, i didnt bother proofreading)

At work, i am one of 2 guys who work with over 14 or so women. Employees have come and gone over the years, and 2 girls in particular who have recently left my store for other jobs are the ones that i feel, get on my nerves. Whether im justified or not, i have no clue. For all i know, i am the jerk here.

So girl A, she was there before I was even hired. I began working, and she ultimately started having a crush on me. Keep in mind, everyone im talking about is over 21 now, so i feel i would expect some maturity. 4 years of working at that job, and up until the day she left, girl A was relentlessly open about her (extreme)crush on me, flirted on a daily basis, in front of customers, and made me (and still makes me) feel rather uncomfortable when i worked with her (many innuendos and the seldom butt slap). She always wanted hugs. Personally, I am not the biggest of huggers especially with girls who act the way she does. Sometimes i felt i was being mean by not giving her a hug all the time but she'd do this in the middle of work, in front of customers. That was really the bigger issue i had. The things I still dont get is how some days she would be fine, and act like any normal girl would, and then other days she becomes some crazy person who's solisiting you money to take her on a date....

Ill answer a possible question you may have at this point. Was she hot? IMO, i found her to not be very attractive. Others did, but coupled with her sporatic personality, nope. There's no way id go on a date with her. Even if she was normal, id still probably say no.

Another massive annoyance, was this girl would do these things at the worst time in front of other girls I actually kinda liked... More to that later.

Rewind a year from the current day. Enter girl B. She was hired at my work. Becomes instantaneous best friends withe girl A. And to makes things even more spicy, girl B now has a similarly open crush on me. Thanks in part to girl A. So now for about the next 8 months or so, ive pretty much have to work with 2 girl A's...

You would think this wouldnt be a problem. Or you're saying "dude you have two girls that like you! WTF are you doing!" or "how is this even a discussion"!

Well let me tell you! When you dont particularly like a girl more than just having to be coworkers, its about the biggest challenge that will ever fall upon your lap. Its a never ending onslaught of flirting, sexual jokes and innuendos, very innapropriate comments about you personally, all coupled with a lack of knowledge when to not say things in front of customers.... Ha. Customers will actually say to me "oh man it must be nice working with all these gorgeous women!"... I just laugh and shake my head side to side. "The grass is always greener my friend".

I suppose if you look at this from a detached view. I think you could say i am friendzoning them. Something id never thought i would actually do. And can now compeletly understand why girls do the same thing, to a degree at least, and keep in my every situation is different.

So now to add another layer onto the cake, my managers, constantly ask me if i like any of my coworkers. I guess it just whats girls do? They always ask me why i dont date girl A, or B. The answer is simple, both are kinda crazy, and i honestly have no attraction towards them. But i cant say that you see. Its not the gentlmanly thing to do here. So i lightly phrase it as a not my type thing. But over the past 4 years, ive been asked that question about a dozen times. No one here has problems with employees dating each other. So that should answer another question. Well, so long as its not managment and associates.

So far we have girl A and B. Now like i mentioned, Both of them no longer work with me (THANKFULLY!) But when girl A left, girl B threw A, a going away 'party' at B's house. It involved some mediocre pizza, rum and coke, of which was my first ever time actually drinking, even though id been 21 for months, and it involved 6 other girls from my work.

Being the gentleman i am, i felt obligated to go because for 1, its nice, and 2 i probably would look bad if i didnt show up. And as any good oppponaut here, once i had the first sip of booze, i knew i had to spend the night. Its a personal choice i make not to drive after drinking even one drink. Too many friends involved with that shit, so ive promised myself. Thats another story though.

Holy balls was that night rough. Even with the only other guy with me, it didnt save me from those girls A and B. I pretty much hated that night and regretted even drinking. Because thats now my first time ever actually drinking. And i had to spend it with two drunk girls who wanted to keep getting handsy and close to me. Couple that with their speech filters flowing free, they pretty much said everything and anything they wanted to do with me. In front of other employees including a manager(and having managers at associates house for drinking is a whole other issue i realize..)! Aside from embarrassing, well, you know what, it was just pretty darn embarrassing.

Sure some of that situation was my fault. I am to blame for allowing them to continue their escapades. But i am not one to say anything. I honestly just take it, persay. I feel it would be jerkish of me to say anything, i dont know.

So after that terrible night, girl A no longer worked with me! Things actually toned down slightly after she left because i think girl B fell into mob mentality when they were together working with me. But dont think girl B became normal now. Nope, many of awkward moments still occurred....

Fast forward now to about a month or so ago. Enter girl C. This girl has been pretty normal for the 2 years she'd been working. No crazyness. She was genuinely a decent person to talk with at work. Up until i found out she too, yep you guessed it, has a crush on me.

I honestly dont know how any of this worked. I guess this is what happens when you are one of two guys working in a female dominated job.

With this newly acquired information i now have to be careful of how i end up having conversations with girl C for fear of misleading her. Because at this point, a 4th girl, who we will call my crush, has entered the picture.

My crush was recently hired. She is about the most awesome girl any opponaut would want. She is an honest car girl. She doesnt curse like a sailor (unlike girls A,B,and C), she is very mature in her actions, she is genuine, and can finally separate private conversations away from customers. And oh so much more, but i wont bore you with the details. She is pretty much the only girl ive ever had an honest to goodness crush on at work, and id reckon to say, in my life.

1 problem. Im moving. The date is unknown, and at minimum ive got like 2 months, 3-4 max. I really want to tell her my feelings, and i think i will. Thats not up for debate haha. I took her to a car meet couple weeks ago, and recently we went again, but before going i bought her dinner and bought her a sweater. If she doesnt see the hint quite yet, well ill be up front about it soon enough.

So why did you need to know that? Because girl B is now leaving for another job! huzza! So with that news came plans for another celebration. At a restaurant this time. So 9 of us (me the only guy this time, my guy coworker is busy that son of a gun haha) go out to eat. Im the first to arrive and get us on the list. Im waiting outside and dear oh my, girl A arrives. I havent seen her in a couple months and im expecting the worst. Shockingly she acted like a normal person for the 10 minutes we were waiting outside. Then more people started to show up, including my crush. Which is pretty much the reason i needed to go.

We get to the restaurant and get seated. And dont you know!, im stuck at the end of the table by none other than Girls A,B, and C! Brilliant! Flipping brilliant. I knew exactly what was gonna happen, and of course, it did. The incessant flirting, sexual innuendos and jokes, and the constant debating between which of those girls was gonna date me. All in front of my crush! At one point they are asking me if im a boob guy, which celebritys i think are hot (katy perry btw), and then which of them is the hottest.... The more questions they asked, the more loaded they became. At one point one of the girls was literally holding her boobs and moving them about. How am i suppose to react to that! There was no filtering anything from them. At one point, the girl across from me, C, snuck a picture of me, drew boobs on me and snap chatted it to everyone at the table. And they are all showing it around to each other sneakily without me knowing. I ultimately found out after a few minutes, and i took it in stride. I didnt freak out, just causally accepted it. What else am i suppose to do. But of course my crush saw it... If anything i seriously hope that bought me some brownie points.

This is where i need some outside opinion. Does having those girls go on about me like that and doing what they did come off as making me out to be someone i am not? In honestly i guess it shouldnt matter because if my crush does actually like me, then she should be able to see through it, and i think she is mature to see through it anyways, at least i hope... I wish this didnt sound so childish. These girls are older than me 22-24. And i sound like such a little kid for writing this, but ill be damed, im posting it anyways.

Regardless, it was a fricken embarrassing night. I kept my cool in person, but i have to blow this steam off somewhere so, sorry oppositelock, i had to dump this here.

Am i overthinking all this? Thoughts? Anything?

If you made it this far btw, you are awesome, and if i ever meet you guys in person, Ill buy you a beer.

DISCUSSION (48)

DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:17

That's sexual harassment, bro. Seriously, they're way, way, way out of line, and you shouldn't just accept it, simply because you're outnumbered.

(Note: This is the same advice I give women, too. Samey=Samey.)

Also, I hope I get to meet you when I drive back to Tennessee to visit family, after you move down there.

Frank Grimes > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:22

my thoughts. dont see those girls you dont like ever again. you might be rude but you need to be honest and just stop attending social functions with them no matter how rude it appears to them. you might want to tell them first how uncomfortable thier behavior makes you them if they brush it off call you gay or whatevs you will have your answer they arent worth your time.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:23

4 months...

4 girls....

I don't see any issues....

On a serious note, ignore A-C crazed women will be crazed women. If you like your crush (duh, you do!) just tell her how you feel, and go out with her, but tell her you're moving soon

^This advice is provided to you by a 15 year old. carry on.

MountainCommand > DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
06/30/2014 at 00:24

Ive always kinda thought that, but i just cant really wrap my mind around it. Maybe its my old school mentality, but i feel guys cant get sexually harassed by girls. I mean were guys, we just gotta deal with it. Im not gonna do anything now though. Its not worth it. And aside from slight embarrassment, i didnt see much more harm.

A beer for you man! Hope we can cross paths one day.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:24

I have to say, if the genders were reversed, and guys were treating a girl this way, they'd all be fired for harrasment. And it sounds like management isn't getting it. Tell girl D how you feel, then tell any other remaining girls that you're not interested and to have some dignity and professional decorum.

Nothing grates me worse than unprofessional coworkers. Even if they were your type, they need to keep their shit together. At least in front of customers.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:24

It's probably a stupid obvious answer that doesn't help much, but the best thing to do is get your crush alone and tell her how you feel as soon as possible. If she asks "what about those other girls?" which I doubt she will just tell her that they're obnoxious horndogs that need to renew their porn subscriptions so they can hop off your dick.

Massive props to how you handled all of this, btw. You seem like a cool guy that I'm sure any girl would be lucky to have, and keeping your cool during that whole mess probably did earn you brownie points with your crush.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:25

Lock it down man, tell them you're not going to date any of them.

MountainCommand > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power
06/30/2014 at 00:26

Im gonna tell her i like her. And she already knows im moving. Ive been pretty open with her. I might actually tell her this whole story now that i think about it...

MountainCommand > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
06/30/2014 at 00:28

thats the biggest deal for me. A lot of this happened in view and earshot or even directly in front of customers. Look i get that we work in a retail environment, but its still a job! Take is seriously!

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:29

1. I like beers but one will not be enough

2. You take a girl out to dinner and buy her a sweater, she knows you are into her.

3. Fuck everything that moves because one day you will 41 years old and be sitting on the toilet trying to wack off in your 45 seconds of private time you have that week. You will need to have some sort of highligt reel, I mean like a Payton Manning highlight reel not a Mark Sanchez bum fumble festival, see what I'm saying. I'm not saying so and shag girls A,B,C,D,E,F OR G but shag something.

4. Good luck with the girl you like and the move. Excuse my male asshol-ish ramblings above though the points are not completely unfounded.

Jedidiah > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:30

Wow. That's better a story than most drama tv shows.

All kidding aside, the first one sounds like your typical attention whore with a sporatic personality—just desperate for someone to like her. Personally, I don't think it is a very attractive vibe either. Girl B sounds kinda like the same story.

Girl C, however, if she is decent when shes not around the others, might just naturally like you and her actions may just be caused by affection and/or mob mentality. People sometimes do stupid things when they try to get someone to notice them. She might just be emulating the other girls if she knows they like you too. (I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt)

Alot of it seems like mob mentality and bad luck. I'd just tell them all that you like girl four and see how they react. Don't make a big deal about it; just be reasonable and honest. (As long as you don't think that they will murder you or something. Seriously, if you think their behavior is dangerous, then talk to your boss). If that doesn't work out or if none of them are reasonable, just move on; there are other fish in the sea.

BJohnson11 > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:31

Couple questions, firstly, what business do you work in? Pure curiosity on that one.

As for girls A-C, ignore their craziness because it sounds like at work, at least most of the problem is taken care of. Just keep working on your crush. If she brings up the restaurant, tell her as much of the backstory as you can. Don't do so in a "yea so all those chicks had major crushes on me" way, but just explain that for as long as you've worked there they've always flirted with you despite you having no interest. I'd think it'd help ease her mind if her mind needs easing.

MountainCommand > Frank Grimes
06/30/2014 at 00:31

Well the next problem is, they want to throw me a going away dinner/party... So i dont know how im gonna handle that. Some of the people at work i genuinely care for and would love to go to dinner with as coworkers, but the problem ones, even though they dont work with me directly, are still all buddy buddy with my current coworkers. Plus it would be pretty rude to decline this. So idk man. And yeah, i have tried very hard to not associate with these people outside of work.

StoneCold > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:33

Gals A-C are very much outta line, so that's straight forward. Girl D has hung out with you in a non-work setting and knows what you are like, so whatever the gals say, whatever. The moving part is what complicates this the most.

How far is the move? Any hope of coming back? How are you with long distance things? All things to consider.

The important part is be up front about the moving thing as PeterVN said.

MountainCommand > BJohnson11
06/30/2014 at 00:34

I dont want to name a company, but its a retail clothing and shoe company. Not like a crazy professional world, but i take my job seriously and care about it.

Thanks, i may just do that.

MountainCommand > Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif
06/30/2014 at 00:37

Haha, well if i buy you 2, then ill have to buy everyone else two!

Some girls you just have no interest in even 'shaging'.

Thanks, im sure it will all work out somehow.

BJohnson11 > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:38

Thats fine, I was just more wondering what type of business, didn't need to know specifics anyways.

Frank Grimes > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:39

first tell them upfront and honest and brutal if needed that they shouldnt talk to you that way and tree you that way and you wont put up with it. tell them point blank you arent interested in dating them of they dont stop circumvent them in your goodbye party and tell others why they arent there or whatever of needed. do the hard thing the thing that takes the most bravery I think these are your clue to the right thing.

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:40

Keep on it young buck. How boring would work be if there wasn't all the ladies after you!?

yamahog > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:42

I'm with Mr. Rotors. It's harassment, regardless of who is doing it, you said it yourself that it makes you uncomfortable and it seems insanely inappropriate for any work environment. Especially when you factor in the age difference, your minority status (one of two men among mostly women), and the fact that your managers seem to be ignoring it, makes the harassment seem even more of a power trip type thing for them to be able to make you uncomfortable.

If you're not comfortable telling A-C to knock it off, you're tired of it, they need to grow up, etc, or you think they'll ignore you or it'll make things even worse, please try to get your managers to see what an issue it is (hint hint: an attorney in this field would probably be all over this case, especially if you have regular customers to corroborate your side of things) so the proper steps can be taken. You should never have to put up with unwelcome sexual attention, especially at work.

MountainCommand > StoneCold
06/30/2014 at 00:42

She knows im moving. And i figure its worth it to at least tell her my feelings.

There is some potential later down the line of me moving back to the east coast. My family has some land in Maine im gonna inherit one day. And

im moving from jersey to tn. Long distance would be a no go. But i dont know. Its all too soon, i dont even know how the girl i like really feels.

StoneCold > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:44

Well, the cynical part of me is going to say that this, at the very least, will be experience for your new life in TN. If something like this crops up again, you won't be as unsure as you are now because you've been through it! :)

MountainCommand > Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif
06/30/2014 at 00:45

Well, if there were more guys, we could talk about cars more... ha

And dude, i sincerely hope you dont have to deal with a situation like this. Like i said, the grass is always greener.

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 00:48

I had to work at the mine in my town as a summer student one summer and I was the only guy summer student on that crew with the 5 other girls. Lots of back and forth flirting and such, I mean you are with these people 12 hours a day. Ended up partying with them and ended up with two of them in my tent near the end of summer on a camping trip. Scared the others off and made for a hell of a story. The only shit part is their dads also worked at the mine and all hated my guts.

yamahog > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
06/30/2014 at 00:49

Seriously, it's kind of worrisome how everyone else seems to be brushing the harassment off. Especially reading something like this:

That is some textbook stuff, and pretty troubling in my opinion. A male friend quit his job to get away from his harasser instead of taking action, which is terrible. The law applies equally but I wish guys didn't have to face the stigma that "she's hot, they must want it" just by being male.

MountainCommand > yamahog
06/30/2014 at 00:51

Thanks for the input. I know id have to go above my managers on something like this, and now that its pretty much all over, i dont want to dwell on the past and create more of a situation with those people. I shouldnt have just accepted what happened at the time. I realize that, but im at a turning point in my life where i can literally and figuratively move on from these people. So i'd rather end it like that, personally. That and my mind still has trouble comprehending guys being sexually harassed. Honest. I dont know why.

MountainCommand > Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif
06/30/2014 at 00:54

thats quite a story. But im guessing you at least found those girls attractive.

MountainCommand > StoneCold
06/30/2014 at 00:57

Its an experience with valuable information. I know now what to do, and what to look for. I just hope my next job will be a little bit better. Thanks

MountainCommand > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
06/30/2014 at 00:59

Thanks man. Its tough to handle a situation like this. Im lucky i guess that i have a personality type thats able to handle this and not get sucked into something that could have been destructive. Im just happy most of its over.

yamahog > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 01:00

It's the flip side of a lot of negative shit women face. We're supposed to be demure and play "hard to get" and all that nonsense because supposedly men are incapable of controlling themselves and want anyone they can get, and if men want everyone, then they can't NOT want anyone, so they can't be harassed. Which is BS, but it's BS that's been fed to us for generations and it can be hard to shake.

I get that you're leaving and moving on, which is good for you, but if I were you I'd at least give a scathing exit interview and maybe even write a damning letter to HQ/HR (you mentioned retail, so I'm guessing a chain/franchise as well). Good luck with the crush in the meantime!

MountainCommand > Jedidiah
06/30/2014 at 01:03

You'd be right about girl c in your assumptions. Its just i have no real genuine attraction to her, and she is just a tad younger than me. Something about not being the same age kinda irks me at the moment. She has really fallen to the mob mentality for sure. She is usually fine without them around.

i dont think they are dangerous. Just a bit pushy and they have no sense of boundaries or when to stop. Which creates a very unsettling atmosphere.

Thanks.

Ferrero1911 > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 01:08

What these guys are saying is true. When I got to the part about you friendzoning them I was thinking: No!!! They're harassing you. You are not to blame here.

MountainCommand > yamahog
06/30/2014 at 01:08

After having been through this, i clearly see what the issue is for women. And in no way would i ever put any woman in a position such as the one i was placed in. Because it takes a lot to get through it. But im still just trying to comprehend that it actually happened to me.

I dont know if id do that either. Im just not about leaving by burning a bridge. Morally that would be wrong to me. They truly werent at fault. I guess i was for not alerting them of the situation properly. I should also say my years working there havent all been bad either. Yeah, a lot of that shit happened but ive actually made some genuine friends too.

Thanks

Big Bubba Ray > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 01:09

Sounds like you need to avoid these girls like the plague. That sounds like some annoying bullshit from them.

Nice car pics, by the way. Definitely encouraged me to keep reading haha

yamahog > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 01:18

No problem, and try not to think of it as your fault. It might help you with moving on and comprehending the whole thing if you can find a counselor or someone close you can talk to about it too.

yamahog > Big Bubba Ray
06/30/2014 at 01:21

If by "annoying bullshit," you mean "harassment..."

YSI-what can brown do for you > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 01:30

I think you just got to tell them like it is. I remember this girl who was dating my friend, after the broke up she decided it would be a good idea to try and date me. My thought process was that A) I can't date her my friend just did and she was crazy and I would be stabbing him in the back and B) she is doing it spite him. I turned her down that same day, and it was all good. I wasn't mean about it just said "hey yo, no"

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 08:08

I worked retail for several years, and the one thing I learned is that if you actually take pride in your work there, you'll be the odd man out. If nobody will respect that attitude, then take your skill elsewhere. Young people who actually want to work are in short supply.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > yamahog
06/30/2014 at 08:10

I mean the managers have to know. If they saw a guy doing this to a female coworker, they would come down like the hammer of Thor, just to cover their asses. But because the roles are reversed, they assume its alright. And that's not right at all.

JGrabowMSt > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 10:13

I have to admit, if I were in the same situation myself, I'm not sure I would have done anything differently for the most part.

I suggest that you sort what you want. From the sounds of it, girls A, B and C are on the "GTFO" list. I suggest you put your foot down with that. Will it be easy? No. You just have to make the ugly decision and put your foot down. They'll dislike that, but this is about you, not them.

If you want girl D, then it's time to also put your foot down. Not like a dick, but you need to let her know your intentions if you want things to last. You're moving, so it's a decision to make depending on how far you're moving, and how committed you both are. Things are a two way street, so before investing yourself, you need to both be on the same page. That and for a few months, you need to really be flexible about it, because it may not work out, and you need to be understanding about that from both sides.

If you're moving far away, and rough as it sounds, I might just scratch the whole bit, and just slip out of their lives completely. I've done this a couple times, and as hard as it is, it's important to be able to put yourself and your needs first. The needs are really the basics, but the list of what you don't need seems to run as long as the eyes can see, given how this situation has gotten.

I don't want to whip a dead horse, but yes, this is sexual harassment. In a situation like this, sometimes it's hard to recognize, but it is. Dealing with it is going to be more difficult, because society isn't used to dealing with it like this. My girlfriend had gone through a lot of abuse, and it makes things very difficult at times, so you need to recognize it now and be able to stop it before it becomes a problem.

Given that, I might try to confide in girl D, as she can be a bit of a "mediator" in this, and bitch the other 3 out for it far more easily than you can without consequence. I would try to do this. Get it to stop, and then when you move, you can have a clean slate, and you can start things over. It's not easy, but it can help a lot.

In the end, it's up to you, but this situation as a whole is one I might just slowly back out of. Put your foot down, and be a bit of an asshole. After all, when a girl puts her foot down, they just get called bitchy. Same damn thing really. All the best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

MountainCommand > JGrabowMSt
06/30/2014 at 12:01

Thanks man. Slowly, i know i am going to probably seize talking to girls a b and c. Ive pretty much already stopped talking to a and b. But it was just the recent dinner event that brought all that crap up again. Everything was going good until then.

I guess the problem i had was i kept trying to be neutral with all of them. I felt i had to be nice to them because they are co workers, and i didnt want them to get all angry at me or something, so id shut my mouth or just nod and shrug at their comments. Oh well, i cant change what i did.

Like i said, the grunt of this situation is over, and now im just left with my crush, and telling her how i feel. I want to at least tell her that because i know i would regret it immensely if i didnt. And i am moving far away. And thats another incentive, imo. Ive never been open with my feelings like this and id rather try being open about it especially now.

MountainCommand > BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather
06/30/2014 at 12:03

Its exactly how i feel. The odd man out. There are like 2 others who have the desire to act professional, and its tough because no one else takes things seriously.

MountainCommand > Big Bubba Ray
06/30/2014 at 12:07

I figured i needed to have some incentive with this if i cant get you all a beer.

JGrabowMSt > MountainCommand
06/30/2014 at 12:35

I can understand that completely. When possible, I try to avoid conflict. It's not something I enjoy, because when it gets ugly, it gets really ugly.

I don't think you did the wrong thing at all, it's just a situation where you don't have much time to process what's going on until long after the fact.

You've got nothing to lose by being you. It's as genuine and honest as it gets. It took me quite some time to be open with anyone about my feelings, but when the right person and the right time comes, they will either accept you for you, or not. The most important thing beyond all else is to not be discouraged if they don't accept you. It hurts, and is uncomfortable, but it's important to know that you're doing what's right for you, and you can't just clam up completely anymore. It sucks having to be a manly man and be big and tough. Sometimes being a man is not being any of that, but of course, that's not what anyone will say to you growing up and trying to figure yourself out. "Life is the hardest teacher, it gives the test before the lesson."

Good luck with everything, we're all here for our fellow oppos if you need us.

MountainCommand > JGrabowMSt
06/30/2014 at 14:34

Im not much of a confrontation person. So any conflict i am apart of, i usually dont say anything, i just listen.

It odd, only now have i begun to become more open about my feelings. I use to kind of hold it all to myself, but sometimes you just have to tell people. And trust them. Even if you know they are going to say something to someone else. Its better than holding it in.

Thanks. I appreciate all the help.

bob and john > MountainCommand
07/03/2014 at 08:59

Good the get thing written down, helps clear you mind.

I'm with DancesWithRotors on this one. This is way out of line. Tell them they are making you a little uncomfortable and if they can tone it down. See where it goes from there. if they get bitchy, then so be it. if they start to get nasty (spreading rumors, etc etc) then it time to get someone else involved.

MountainCommand > bob and john
07/03/2014 at 12:05

Thankfully im not around 2 of the people at work anymore so the real issues are left in the past. Im gonna try hard to not come in contact with them any longer though.

bob and john > MountainCommand
07/03/2014 at 12:45

blocking is a thing on facebook.